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Right off the bat, Dr. Anita H. Well it is a little, at least for heterosexual women, but Clayton exaggerates in the interest of reassuring me. Instead, she says, "We women need to examine ourselves and the types of sexual beings we are. In it Clayton argues that too often women unwittingly sabotage their own sex lives. She also gives some possible explanations and solutions.
The book s a rapidly expanding list of such books, and lots of discussions at meetings like those held by ISSWSH and other organizations about women and sex and satisfaction. Women and desire and how to have good sex have been floating around pop culture for decades. At first glance, these issues would hardly seem to be the secrets Clayton says they are. They ask her, for example, what happens when women have babies.
Today, there are explanations for lack of female sexual desire. Being in therapy is normal now. Men have an advantage because we exist in a binary 1 and 0 world when it comes to sex. As good as it gets? Women on the other hand, are often stumped. Women find themselves frustrated by media, Clayton says. In our celebrity-obsessed culture, in which beauty and an overt sexiness is prized above, oh, talent, many women assume that celeb babes get to live on some higher plane of sexual existence that is closed to other women.
Sex in entertainment culture is often portrayed as extraordinary, explosive, exciting. So women come to expect this from their own lives, setting themselves up for disappointment. Davidson places less blame on media. Either way, peak experiences or frustrating fantasy, the market for advice on having better sex gets stoked. Whatever the source of dissatisfaction, women are too often reluctant to talk about sex with other women, with their lovers, even their doctors.
Women do not. t has another take. Women need to focus on our own erotic life. We need to value and cherish our sexuality and eroticism and then invite partners to partake of what we have already discovered. The goal, Clayton says, is to learn about your body and how it reacts, and a little about your mind, too. What are you thinking about? Do you like it fast, slow, hard, soft? Second, speak up. Speak up to your doctor if necessary, but be absolutely sure to speak up to your lover. Women should ask themselves hard questions about their sexual lives and what they can change, regardless of how great a lover a man is.
Far too many women fail to define themselves sexually. We prioritize those things, and then we put sex low on the list. No guy does this to us. We do it to ourselves. Men place it right up there with, say, breathing.
Yet, if the slew of new books and hours of seminars and advice are at all true, women can find sexual happiness. Brian Alexander, a California-based freelance writer and contributing editor for Glamour magazine, is working on a new book about sex for Harmony, an imprint of Crown Publishing. IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser.
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Don't blame him if she can't get no satisfaction